Fox Urine Muses

“Stupid squirrels!” I say to myself, as I notice once again, they are ruining my Palm trees. Okay, maybe I used a few stronger and manly words. But the point here is they ARE ruining my prized trees.  These breeding machines love the burlap type material found on Palm trees. The mangy fur balls use …

Advertisement

My Fight with an Old Man

“I will refuse to let you inside me until the day I die!” I shout, with fists clinched, realizing the contradiction in that statement.

Marital Problems

I have a hot wife. I hate to admit this, but we are going through a rough patch in our marriage.  “Say what?” I imagine you are thinking to yourselves, as my wife and I have been happily married for over forty years.  “With a hot wife, just work through it, you idiot,” my guy …

The Barber Shop- Fathers Day Edition

Placing a piece of gum in my mouth, I recognize it is not just any ordinary gum. The wrapper is bright yellow, and the flavor is as vibrant as the wrapper. Once this delightful stick touches my tongue, flavors of banana, pineapple and yes, maybe even a tinge of peach explode in my mouth. Ah, …

Happiness

I am looking at a blank screen, determined to write something today about happiness. The year is 2020 and it is not even half over. The pundits have already declared this the worst year in modern history. So much unhappiness is in our world. I try to watch the news and it makes me feel …

Doc-in-a-Box

Recently, I experienced the pleasure of having a medical procedure performed. The name of the procedure is not important per se, but I will say, I have it done at least every five years and it involves a scope being placed in an area where a scope just shouldn’t go. I'm just sayin... Now I …

The Artistry of the Baby Blue Double-Knit Leisure Suit

This story describes the time my mom gave me the keys to the hen house. Two pictures of me in my prized baby blue leisure suit await you at the end of this story.

Dancing with the Scars

Last year, I made the biggest guffaw ever with her Christmas gift. Trust me, I will never make that mistake again! Let me tell you about it. At the end of this blog is a bonus video of me dancing.

Very Superstitious-Halloween Edition

This may surprise you, but I am very superstitious. I always have been. Now before you cast a stone my way and proclaim my superstitions as nonsense, give me a chance to explain. For me, my superstitious nature began at an early age. You see, my mom was a self-proclaimed Wart Doctor. Yes, you read …

Mr. Smarty Pants

It seems everything in today’s world is becoming smarter. For example, I bet most of you have at least one smart television. I’m fortunate enough to be writing this on a smart phone. When I was working in the business world, we had smart goals. Major car manufacturers are scrambling to market the first successful …